Ask an Anchor: Collaboration without depletion

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Dear Anchors,

For the past few years, I’ve built my service business, and now it’s getting to a point where it feels normal and under control and giving me what I need to thrive personally. Alternatively, I’m also feeling isolated and teetering on the edge of burnout. I want a creative outlet that still supports my business and lets me get to know others.

But I get stuck. I have a feeling that collaboration might help me, but I get nervous because I’ve heard some horror stories. I’m nervous about everything from whether or not the project will “take off” to the logistics of how split the profits if it turns into something that actually makes money.

I want a creative outlet that still supports my business and lets me get to know others.

I’m a few steps ahead here, but that’s the problem! I think I’m trying to work through some of the potential kinks, so it really is a project that gives more than it takes from me. The online small business community has given me a lot, and I want to give back generously. Overall, I don’t want to get in over my head, I’m craving something fun and hope that collaboration will serve me. . . not deplete me.

Can you give some ground rules you’ve used for collaboration? Or advice about how to go about it thoughtfully?

Thanks in advance,

Collaboration Procrastination

CP -- 

There’s a lot to cover here! I’m going to explore your desire, give some tools to help you assess what you need and, as always, try to help you see the big picture. 

I have friends who formed a band with a very special rule: members had to play a completely new instrument. Each of them had been in bands before, and all had their own version of musical success. They decided together that the project was about providing a safe space to learn and explore -- not perfection. Each collaborator took the responsibility of practicing on their own, but if the budding guitar player was struggling, the experienced one would jump in and help out. I think they even taught lessons outside of band practice. It was a slow process, and they didn’t play a single show because it wasn’t about fame or external acclaim. They had fun, formed deeper bonds (vulnerability will do that), and achieved their goal as a group and individuals. 

I bring up this example as an introduction because the following is going to be about exploring what you are really looking for when it comes to your next collaboration. I believe you when you say you want something creative, connected, and new. I hear your mention of burnout. I also believe in projects that simply exist without the pressure of “success.” 

How to Start

Let’s also talk about burnout and how you’re having trouble starting this new project. I’d say that you are suffering from what I like to call Post-Traumatic Business Founder Syndrome. What’s that? Well, when we fall into our first business, we are fearless! The bad could never be that bad, right?? Even if your venture grows according to plan, us founders are left with emotional whiplash. The good parts of your success are easy to measure (numbers of clients, income, press), but the harder pieces (late nights, hard clients, scary financial situations) are types of trauma that stay in our bones. This is good because it helps inform your “intuition” about what you don’t want to do. Knowing how much work goes into a new project can also keep you from moving forward (why you emailed your question). 

With all the knowledge you have gained by running your business, you are and will inevitably be forever changed by that hard work. Congratulations, and welcome to the very exclusive club. You now truly know the weight of starting new. 

Working together with others definitely helps with isolation, but I'm not sure if it'll help with burnout. Do you have enough time in your schedule to take on this extra work? Or would you be better off consciously and actively taking time away from your work? For me, as I try to heal my own version of burnout, I get the urge to put MORE on my plate. It’s craziness, but it’s a whisper in my ear that I couldn’t possibly be doing enough, that I’m a failure if I stop moving and ride the wave. What I have figured out in those moments is that I need to sit still, read books, journal, dance to some music, and FEEL my feelings that have been ignored as I pushed to make my business a priority. I have started to recognize the productivity monster as a version of fear and anxiety. I ask it (the productivity monster) a lot of questions and take time to figure out what I truly need, which is usually doing less, not more. 

I ask the productivity monster a lot of questions and take time to figure out what I truly need, which is usually doing less, not more. 

The above is not a new idea, and there is research out there about burnout. The following is also informed by my deep interest and the many different platforms that explore human connection (each of those links is pure gold). My understanding is that burnout, disconnection, and depression manifests when you ignore how you really feel and what you truly need. Those feelings will inevitably come to the surface through exhaustion, sadness, and even some physical symptoms like hormonal imbalances. 

That all being said, let’s dive into the potential of collaboration as a solution and give you some tools to prepare yourself for this type of work. 

Collaboration Alignment 

You are right - collaboration can be great and tricky! You're more experienced now, and hopefully, know more about how you work and would like to work with others. A good analogy is that of first partners or even your first roommates. You go into those types of intimate relationships with rose-colored glasses, but what you're really getting is an opportunity to learn what you want from future partnerships and living situations.

You want it to last forever, but the true value is what you're learning about what you need from people and how to navigate their needs along with yours. Since you’ve fine-tuned your skills over time, have some faith that you can set good boundaries for yourself and your collaborators. I trust you can do this. 

Self Analysis

We can get swept up in other people’s ideas, so it’s nice to take a moment to explore your own boundaries (the key to happiness, IMHO). So, do you want a creative outlet, or do you want an extension of your business? Either is ok (and can be healing when working with others), but deciding which you'd like is an important first step. If you’re struggling to answer the questions below, a starting point is to outline what you *don’t* want first. Then shift to the positive potential. 

Are you trying to …  

  • … expand your market under a different brand?

  • … learn something new?

  • … help others increase their reach?

  • … simply try a new way of working? 

  • … “trade” skills with your collaborators?

What are the potential outcomes of your project …

  • … that work for you?

  • … that do not work for you?  

Once you've figured out what you'd like to get from this project, then move on to how to find the right collaborators.

  • Do you want to learn something from them? 

  • Do you want to support and be supportive of each other's creative endeavors? Collaboration takes two (or more)

As with any relationship, coming to the table with your needs and your partner doing the same is powerful. It’s the first opportunity to align or realize you’re on a different path. Explore the questions with your potential collaborator. I suggest you both answer the questions separately and come to the table with ideas about how this new endeavor could look. 

Giving Back  

I love the direction you're taking with wanting to give back to your community. When you're working on a "job description" or a thesis for this work, I hope you find someone who has a similar goal.

As you start to really dig into what you and your collaborators are going for, write the job descriptions and the business plans for yourselves. Leave no stone unturned. It is worth moving slowly to align completely. 

Leave no stone unturned. It is worth moving slowly to align completely. 

I've done both "collaboration" as well as simply paying people who have complementary skill sets to help my project along. If you have a specific vision that you want to move forward with, and that will take just a few hours from a fellow creative or specialist, paying them is a straightforward way to give back. It’ll bring your vision to life quickly, and you’ll genuinely support your fellow business owners. Both versions of giving back are good and fulfilling. 

Stop Working and CONNECT 

A note about doing something fun, too. Does it have to be about work? Can it be something completely different and serve you all the same?

I linked to a podcast above that interviewed Jenny Odell. She wrote a beautiful book called How to Do Nothing. Read that. Consider your motives. 

Start by joining a real-life networking group, creating one yourself, or better yet, doubling down on the relationships you have already established. Those new conversations don’t even need to be about business. Some of my favorite business owner meetups encourage conversations about anything BUT business. Explore explore explore - then collaborate. 

I hope you find the connection you are seeking, and I can’t wait to see what comes of it. 

Sarah